I suppose it would be presumptuous for me to think that you would still be my friend after the harsh words upon you... But one can only wish the true sense of the word can withstand some truth knocking. Maybe when the entire incident is over, you might give some thoughts to this friend who'd always still be by your side.
In any case, lets not digress from the actual purpose of my letter to you.
In this world, everybody is in search of their own happiness. Unlike the definition of 'friend', 'happiness' is not quite ubiquitous. You know what you need and want in a relationship. Which would be different from mine or everyone else. Only when these needs are satisfied does one feel happily in love. Of course, in a relationship, there is also the other party. The other party is probably the only person able to fulfill your needs and wants. But he doesn't know what you need or want.
Whoever you'd decide your partner to be. You've got to open your heart to and then trust the person not to break it. And I don't mean telling half truths about it. There is nothing wrong with demanding what you want in a relationship, because only so can there be absolute trust. Whatever happens thereafter, it is up to two persons to work it out and let love conquer it all. Keeping secrets to yourself would only result in more misunderstandings and pains.
It is never the easiest thing to do. But only you can end your own suffering. You are a beautiful and smart lady. You'd know what to do.
I wish you happiness.